I've been in love before, or so I thought. I've made plans to spend the rest of my life with certain individuals on two separate occasions, both of which didn't work. Why? I think the common denominator is myself. In a roundabout way I've been told multiple things by men who said they loved me.
"You're not pretty enough." "You're not skinny enough." "You're too shy." "You're too high-strung." "You aren't perfect enough."
I really don't understand what I do wrong or what I don't do right. I completely give myself, time, energy, my heart, life to them and then suddenly one day its not good enough. Will I ever be loved romantically by another? I mean real romance, the kind you only seem to read about in novels.
The point is, I want that kind of love that people cant live without. I want to be the girl that you wake up next to in the morning and love everything about. I want that crazy passion filled love where being with you makes everything perfect. The kind of passion where we make love everyday, consistently support eachother, and never doubt the love we have for eachother for a second.
For 21 years ive been told im not good enough. Does the cycle ever end? Will I ever succeed?
Maybe I do need to become prettier, or skinnier, or more successful in life to find what Im really looking for.
Maybe my expectations are too high. I may never find someone that truly completes me and is willing to love me unconditionally.
Will I ever be good enough?
Is it too much to ask for?
Does real love exist?
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