jumbled up thoughts and emotions.

there are so many emotions just swimming around my head right now. i feel crushed, almost as if this is the end even though i know its not. on the brink of breaking down and crying for hours, you are my rock. the only stable thing in my life right now. it pains me to wonder when im going to see you again. just not knowing sucks. i never thought it was possible to care about one individual this much. i dont want recent events to hurt what we have. i dont want you to think, "fuck it" and leave. i know i want to spend forever with you and living without you would crush my soul. im serious. i dont mess around when it comes to me saying forever. whenever you catch me staring, you know what im thinking? im thinking about how lucky i am. how lucky i am to have someone who loves me for the person i am, someone who respects me and would never force something upon me, someone who cares about the little things. im thinking about how happy i am and how bad my life was until you walked into it 7 months ago. there are so many things i want to say, but that wouldnt make sense because my mind is just spinning so fast and i cannot concentrate on one thing at a time. i just want you to know how much i really do care, how im not like them, and how much i want you to stay. i love all these little things your do and i hope you never stop singing nsync to me. i hope you never stop writing me love notes. i hope you never stop smiling at me. i hope we never stop cracking jokes with eachother. most of all, i hope you never stop loving me.




"youre beautiful,

i love you."